Are You Smarter Than A Demigod?
by Isolde Sybil
Summary: All your favorite charcters, on this wonderful show!
1. UM Students?

I DO NOT OWN THIS!! NOT ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A FIFTH GRADER OR POJ!!

--

Katharina (aka ME): Welcome to ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A 5 GRADER!!

(Audience screams loudly)

Kat: And you will now welcome our guest host, NICO DI ANGELO!!

(Fans Scream loudly and cheer as Nico runs down the hallway)

Nico: Thank you!! I love this job!!

Kat: Nico, you can now introduce are students.

Nico: Okay. Now for are first student… (Looks at note card and gasps) Clarisse.

Clarisse: You got a problem with me you little Goth?

Nico: No, do you have a problem with my assistants? (Claps hand and a skeleton appears.)

Clarisse: No

Nico: Okay, well anyway are next student is……… Annabeth Chase.

Annabeth: (Walks Out) Thank you. Thank you.

Nico: Our next student is… Grover Underwood? Wait he's a satyr, not a demigod.

Kat: It doesn't matter. He hangs out with Percy & demigods so much he isn't counted as a satyr right know.

Grover: Hey!!

Kat: That's a complement you are an it as of right know.

Grover: Fine

Nico: Our next student is, Percy Jackson. (Turns to Kat) How did he get on here, he's to dumb!!

Percy: Hey I'm not dumb!! I just excel in anything that has to deal with the ocean/ shore/ sea/ water.

Nico: WOW!! You really are a Seaweed Brain.

Percy: Only Annabeth calls me Seaweed Brain!

Nico: Why am I wet?

Percy: Hello Nico, did you notice I'm not wet?

Nico: Percy, you only get wet from dog saliva & showers

Percy: Right… Right.

Nico: And the last student is drum roll please!! Thaila Samson!!

Thaila: Nico!! So happy to be on this show!! Not

KAT: Come back after the break on...

ALL: ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A DEMIGOD!!

--\

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	2. Surprise!

I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING!!

--

Kat: Welcome back to…

All: ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A DEMIGOD!!

Nico: We have introduced the students and now it's time to introduce the first contestant.

Nico fans: WE LOVE YOU NICO!!

Nico: Okay… but anyway our first contestant is… is… is…is..is…is…is…is…is…is

Audience member named Bob: I'm dying from the suspense!! (Dies)

Nico: The first contestant is… Zeus.

(Zeus appears)

Zeus: Hello mortals & demigods & fellow Olympians.

Thaila: Dad! (Runs to dad)

Zeus: Thaila! You're embarrassing me!! Good to see you to!

Nico: Get back to your seat Thaila

Thaila: (grumpy) Fine Nicolas.

Nico: DON'T CALL ME NICOLAS!!

Kat: Do you want me to fire you Nico?

Nico: No

Kat: Then keep your voice down!!

Nico: Okay Lord Zeus, take a seat at the podium, and pick your first student!

Zeus: I pick… I pick… I pick… Grover.

Grover: (whispers to Percy) help me!!

Percy: You'll be okay.

Nico: You picked Grover because…

Zeus: He excels in school & if I get one question wrong I turn Grover into a Pine Tree!! MWWHAHHAHAHA!!

Grover: (praying) Help me Sprit of Pan!

Nico: It's time to pick the first question!!

Audience: Yay!!

Nico's fan club: WE LOVE YOU NICO!!

Nico: Well we have five categories to pick from, easiest ton hardest, Mortal, Demigod, Monster, Titian, and God! Then we have are five subjects: Monsters, Ancient Greek History, Spoken ancient Greek, Weapons, and which god/goddess is who!

(Fans start to cheer softly)

Zeus: They love me!! I'll pick…

(Fan cheering gets louder!!)

Zeus: I'll pick Mortal for…

(Fans cheering gets a lot louder)

Zeus: Quiet!! I can't think!! I'll pick Mortal for weap…

(Fan cheating gets to loudest point!)

Speaker Voice: Now it's time for the Jonas Brothers!

Nico: What is going on?

Speaker Voice: Get off the stage! All of you now!

Everyone on stage: FINE!

(Stage flips over and a fully set up Jonas brother stage is in place.)

(Music starts)

Joe: I woke up on my roof with my brothers  
There's a whale in the pool with my mother  
And my dad paints the house different colors  
Where would we be, if we couldn't dream?

Joe, Kevin, Nick: And I know  
We get a little crazy  
And I know  
We get a little loud  
And I know  
We're never gonna fake it  
We are wild, we are free  


We are more than you think  
So call us freaks  
But that's just the way we roll

Joe  
You got moves, I've got shoes, let's go dancing  
Pop and lock, battle dance against Hanson  
If we lose, all the girls, they'll be laughing  
Where would we be, if we couldn't dream?

Joe, Kevin, Nick: And I know  
We get a little crazy  
And I know  
We get a little loud  
And I know  
We're never gonna fake it  
We are wild, we are free  
We are more than you think  
So call us freaks  
But that's just the way we roll

ALL: (Speaking) Cause we're old enough to know  
We are never letting go  
'Cause that's just the way we roll

Joe, Kevin, Nick: And I know  
We get a little crazy  
And I know  
We get a little loud  
And I know  
We're never gonna fake it  
We are wild, we are free  
We are more than you think  
So call us freaks  
But that's just the way we roll  
And I know  
We get a little crazy  
And I know  
We get a little loud  
And I know  
We're never gonna fake it  
We are wild, we are free  
We are more than you think  
So call us freaks  
But that's just the way we roll  
That's just the way we roll  
That's just the way we roll

Audience: WWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Thaila: BBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Green Day, green Day, Green Day!!

Audience: You have problems

Thaila: (Murmuring) Will not hit them with lighting. Zeus will later!

Nico: Hey you fan girl!! (Points to a Nico fan) You can take the Jonas Brothers out of here.

Fan Girl: ANYTHING FOR YOU NICO!! I LOVE YOU!!

Nico: Okay. (Presses button and stage goes back to normal.

Nico: Now we're back to the show!! Zeus picked mortal for weapons so here is the question.

(Insert jeopardy theme song here)

70 year old man in audience: Youngster hurry up, I'm not getting any younger!!

Nico: I am a 75 year old man! Respect your elders!

70 year old man: stop kidding youngster

Nico: let's have a face off. Whoever can speak the forties lingo better wins.

70 year old man: okay

Nico: You aren't a hoofer!

70 Year old man named Bob: Horse feathers

Percy: DON'T INSULT HORSES!! OR PEGASUS!

Nico: You're not hard boiled!!

Bob: You're not a wise guy!

Nico: You'll never be considered a cat's meow!

Bob: Applesauce!

Nico: I owned 15 pinups!

Bob: I used to carry a torch!

Nico; Yeah and I was the big cheese!

Bob: I was never pinched!

Nico: You're wife isn't Ritzy!

Bob: Your not a spiffy young man.

Nico: Just swell for me!

Percy: GIVE ZEUS HIS QUESTION!!

Nico: Why am I wet?

Bob: Having a heart at… (Dies)

Bob's wife: (running out of the building) I hate young people!

Nico: Okay, now I can't read the question! The cards all wet!

Zeus: I want to answer my question.

Nico: Percy fix this!!

Percy: Fine, hand me the card.

(Nico Hands him the card. When Percy touches it the card dries up)

Percy: It says WHAT WAS SOMETHING THAT THE BRITISH HAD ON THERE GUN DURING THE REVOLUTIONARY WAR!!

Speaker Voice: We now would like to have word from our sponsors!

--

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--

Speaker Voice: We seem to be having technically difficulties…

(Lights Turn out)

Nico: Um… We'll see you later. We'll let you know when we can continue our episode of

ALL: ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A DEMIGOD!!

--

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	3. Grover gets

Speaker Voice: We have now fixed our technical difficulties

Nico: Okay everyone back to

All: ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A DEMIGOD!

Nico: Okay, we left off in a power outage because got the wires all wet.

Percy: It's not my fault!

Nico: Shush, or you will be removed by my assistants!

Percy: Which ones, Minos, or your undead?

Nico: Don't talk to me like that! Respect your elders!

Percy: You want to take this outside old man?

Nico: Bring it on youngster!  
(Percy and Nico exit)

Zeus: I WANT TO ANSWER MY QUESTION!!

Thaila: Dad, control your anger. How many times have we talked about this?

Zeus: Not now Thaila!

Thaila: hey Clarisse! Go break up Sea Weed Brain and Ghost Boy's fight!!

Zeus: What did you call Nico?

Thaila: (Muttering to herself) oops, Percy said not to call him that.

Clarisse: I'm going now to break up there fight!

Thaila: I know grant myself the power of being host until Nico comes back

Thaila: Do you want to listen to some music?

All: YEAH!!

Thaila: Sweet!

(Clicks button and Green Day turns on)

All: NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! WE WANT JO BROS!

Thaila: Shut up.

(Electricity sizzling from Thaila)

Thaila: Everyone how about this?

All: Yeah

Thaila: When Clarisse comes back we hug her!

All: You are an evil child but we're in!

Thaila: Sweet

Thaila: Look Clarisse is back!

(A bruised and soaking wet Clarisse comes in with a bruised and soaking wet Nico, followed by a bruised and dry Percy)

Thaila: Remember what I said!

(All are running toward Clarisse)

All: We love you Clarisse!

(All start to hug Clarisse)

Clarisse: What are they doing to me?

(Nico and Percy go back to their spot)

Nico: Thaila, get back in your seat I am the host

Kat: Assistant host

Nico: Does it look like I care?

Kat: No

Nico: Exactly.

Nico: let's get back to the question.

WHAT WAS SOMETHING THAT THE BRITISH HAD ON THERE GUN DURING THE REVOLUTIONARY WAR!!

Nico: What do you think the answer is?

Zeus: It is b…

Nico: Don't say it. Write it down on the screen on your pedestal.

(2 Pedestals appear)

Nico: Grover has locked in his answer

Nico: Zeus has locked in his answer

Nico: Now let see who is right

(Clicks button and answer come up on the screen)

Nico: Zeus answered Swords & Grover answered…

(Nico Gulps)

(Audience Gasps)

(Grover prays to the spirit of Pan)

(Percy prays for Grover's health)

Nico: Grover answered bayonet.

Nico: Grover is right, but…

(Zeus looks very, very, very scary & mad)

Nico: Zeus still has a save

Nico: Do you want to use the save?

(Grover prays to pan's spirit)

Zeus: I will…

Speaker Voice: There has been a new law made that there needs to be more suspense in this show. We will now end it for the day.

(Everything goes black)

ZEUS: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGG!!

Nico: We will see you in little bit

--

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	4. Sorry

Sorry if I disappointed you ya-says artemis. I think this chapter should make it up!!

--

Nico, We are having some problems. It seems as if the Lord of the Skies and Thaila are now chasing Grover with their weapons. That means goat boy is being chased by lightning, arrows, electric spears, a really big god level explosive.

Grover, HELP ME!!

(Thaila and Zeus stop chasing Grover and start to whisper)

Thaila, I know a way to torture goat buy

Zeus, What is it?

Thaila, Simple. Play my favorite type of music

Zeus, You really are my daughter

(Grover is still running around like crazy)

Grover, DON'T EAT ME ALIVE! I HAVE A GOOD RECIPE!!

Percy, Grover is quoting himself too often. Old quotes get old.

Annabeth, If that's true then you wouldn't be annoyed when I called you Sea Weed Brain

Percy, DON'T CALL ME THAT

Grover, I'M IN A LIFE OR DEATH SITUATUON PEOPLE HELP ME!!

Thaila, EVERYONE STOP TALKING! MY FATHER AND I HAVE DECIDED GROVER'S PUNISHMENT FOR BEING RIGHT!

Grover's Fans, But Zeus used the save! That's not fair!

Thaila, It wasn't fair when I got turned into a tree! Now shut up!!

Thaila, THE PUNISHMENT IS…

(Thaila clicks the remote to the speakers and Green Day Music starts blaring.)

Don't wanna be an American idiot.  
Don't want a nation under the new mania.  
And can you hear the sound of hysteria?  
The subliminal mind …

A Mother named Nelly, My Children are too young to have their minds poisoned!

Thaila, Does it look like I care?

Nelly, My children want to grow up and be successful people.

Thaila, SO I'M NOT SUCCSESSFUL??

Nelly, I never said that!

Thaila, DAD DESTROY HER

Zeus, Thaila I can't!

Thaila, Why

Zeus, I um… um…

Thaila, DID YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH THAT… MORTAL?

(Poping nosie and a flash of bright light)

Hera, ZEUS!!

Zeus, Hera darling!

Hera, YOU SAID THE CONSOLING FIXED THIS! I'M GOING TO HAVE TO SCHEDULE ANOTHER APOINTMENT!

Zeus, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Thaila, SILENT! LISTEN TO THE MUSIC!!

Welcome to a new kind of tension.  
All across the alienation.  
Everything isn't meant to be okay.  
Television dreams of tomorrow.  
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.  
For that's enough to argue.  
(Thaila Dancing with a bow in her hands to shot anyone who hates Green Day)  
Well maybe I'm the faggot America.  
I'm not a part of a redneck agenda.  
Now everybody do the propaganda.  
And sing along in the age of paranoia.

Welcome to a new kind of tension.  
All across the alienation.  
Everything isn't meant to be okay.  
Television dreams of tomorrow.  


We're not the ones who're meant to follow.  
For that's enough to argue.

Don't wanna be an American idiot.  
One nation controlled by the media.  
Information age of hysteria.  
It's calling out to idiot America.

Welcome to a new kind of tension.  
All across the alienation.  
Everything isn't meant to be okay.  
Television dreams of tomorrow.  
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.  
For that's enough to argue

Audience, BBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOO…..

Thaila, SHUT UP! GREEN DAY IS BETTER THAN THE JONAS BROTHERS!

Audience, NO WAY!

Thaila, Who wants to have a little contest then?

Random Disney Lover, Does it involve risking our lives?

Thaila, Yeah

Random Disney lover, I'm in!

Thaila, Okay. I will now explain the rules. We will have the Jonas Brothers and Green Day come here. They will compete in tournaments. Whoever wins, is the better person. That's all the rules.

Random Disney Lover, I'M GOING TO BE IN THE SAME ROOM AS THE JONAS BROTHERS!!

Thaila, Stick a sock in it Tina

Random Disney Lover, How did you know my name was Tina?

Thaila, I have my resources.

Thaila, Okay… YOU may know bring out GREEN DAY! And the Jonas bothers.

Tina, Brothers not bothers!

Thaila, To me they're the bothers

Secret Punker/Goth balcony, I'm with Thaila

Speaker Voice, NOW I WILL BRING OUT THE JONAS BROTHERS!

Thaila, GREEN DAY!

(Jonas Brothers and Green day run onto the stage)

Thaila, You know why you're here… now bothers, you're going to wear a yellow jersey. Green Day wears a green jersey.

Thaila, The first event is…

Zeus, WHAT HAPPENED TO ME ANWERING MY QUESTIONS?

Nico, WHAT HAPPENED TO ME BEING HOST?

Kat, Assistant host

Nico, I DON'T CARE!

Thaila, You will all get a chance to do what you want to when the

THAILIFIC GAMES are done.

Thaila, the first event is…

--

Sorry if I disappointed you ya-says Artemis

I hope I made it up to you


	5. It's back!

Sorry I haven't posted in forever, but I have had a series of unfortunate broken bones. Anyway, I'm back! This chapter is in honor of my English teacher Mr. K, who inspired me to continue writing, and doing what I love. Here it is!

Thaila, The first event is…

***Two days later***

Thaila, The first event is… Chariot racing!

You may pick 1 demigod to be on your team.

So who do you chose?

Jonas Bothers, I chose the student with the curly hair

Grover, Is that me???

Nick, NO! It's the cutie with the gray eyes and blond curly hair!

Grover, No One Loves Me!

**Grover then runs of crying to his mama goat**

Annabeth, ME?

Nick, Yes you.

Annabeth, Okay.

**Annabeth then, clumsily, walks to the Demigod Podium.**

Thaila, Green day you may now pick

Green day, I pick the boy who is dr**y** and talking to the flying horse thing

ZEUS, I WANT TO FINISH MY TURN!

Thaila, later father

Green day, I said I pick the weirdo with the black hair and green eyes.

Percy, YES!

5 minutes later

Percy, Wait? Are you saying I'm weird?

Green Day, Yeah, Do you have a problem with that Prissy?

Percy, Why do you sound like Clarisse?

Clarisse whispers to Thaila, He is slower than I expected him to be... There must be a lot of sea gunk stuck in his skull.

Thaila, Percy even Hades can tell why Green Day looks like Clarisse.

Nico, STOP MAKING FUN OF MY DAD!

ZEUS, WAIT HADES IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!??!!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Thaila, Whispers to Nico, Shut up! Didn't Percy ever tell you what happened when he was claimed?? He almost started World War 3!

Zeus, Tell me more about this.

Nico, No thanks Lord Zeus

Zeus, NOW!

Nico, (trembles in fear) Okay

Zeus, That's much better

Nico, Well I only know that my dad is Hades; I can't remember any of my past. I forgot it while in a strange hotel.

Zeus, Stop playing with me kid!

**Nico silently prays to his dad, father. Help me. Send Zeus a sign of my past.**

**A Bright Flash of Light and A Smell of flowers fill the room**

Aphrodite, "AHH! Thaila, stop this competition know, if you don't bad things will happen."

Percy, NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SHE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED has come for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aphrodite, I didn't come for you Percy… (Then tone changes to a whisper)Not yet at least

Nico whispers, How is this a sign dad?

Aphrodite, Listen Nico, I am not a sign from your dad I was sent by one of his mortal lovers.

Just then, Aphrodite turns and sees the look on Zeus's face. He is starting to steam and his image shimmers. Just before he loses control, thankfully, he realizes he doesn't want to kill all his followers who are watching him on ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A DEMIGOD! Saddly, when he does calm down, the sound of a stampeding heard of cows echoes around the giant room. Peacocks the size of rhinos start appearing in the crowd.

Zeus: Hera is coming after me... Oh great. Thalia, now I have to go incognito. See you in a century everybody!

**Zeus then disappears in a flash of lightning**

Nico: Now, lets cut to a commercial break, see you in a few minutes!

**Whispering**

Apollo: The show is almost over. You will see all of our fans T-O-M-O-R-R-O-W.

Nico: Unfortunately, We have run out of time, so I will see all of you gentlemen, and lovely, gorgeous ladies, tomorrow! Bye!

**Theme Music Plays**

**COMERCIAL PLAYS**

THERE IS A NEW CAMPER AT CAMP HALF-BLOOD

A NEW QUEST

A NEW LIFE FOR THEM ALL

**CAUTION!**

This story contains H-U-M-O-R

So, if you are prone to nonstop hysterical laughter,

DO NOT

Read.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

By: Seaweedbrain537

Coming to the Percy Jackson Fanfiction Section this Milena!

Thanks

Sorry I haven't posted in forever. I will update again on Saturday. Review Please, also, expect updates to my other stories too!!


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